Naru Punches Stuff in the Face
by Gundam Kaiser
Summary: An ongoing anthology of Naru Narusegawa punching stuff in the face.


**To begin with, I like Naru. Aside from Motoko, she's probably my preferred female character of Love Hina.**

**However, I also like seeing fictional characters get punched in the face, moreso if I don't particularly care for that character.**

**From these two passions, was born an ongoing series of Naru Punching People In The Face.**

**Some of these are written by myself, and other snippets are written by fellow members of Ala Aridia. Items without an author appended to them, were written by myself.**

* * *

**Kurt Godel**

Naru was walking down the street as happily as ever.

Then, as some vaguely bishonen guy in spectacles came walking by, Godzilla attacked and blasted a nearby car with his radiation breath.

The percussive shockwave from the explosion knocked the bishonen guy over, and he instinctively reached out for the nearest possible thing to grab hold of and steady himself with.

Which happened to be Naru's chest.

Then Naru punched Godel on the face.

* * *

**Kurt Godel,** _as writ by Over Master_

Chisame was showing the friends of Princess Kaolla, who was rich and influential and thus important for Negi's plans, around the place. "Um. Okay. Yeah, that was interesting. And this is the development area, where our best scientists work hard, day and night, to make the Space Elevator and Blue Mars a reality. Now you'll meet Hakase Satomi, who—"

As she ushered them in, they saw a man's form leaning over that of a petite girl with dark hair. And they all froze. Those two caught in the act looked back, uneasily.

Chisame would have thought Setsuna's sempai would have reached him first, with her being a trained expert fighter and all that, but she only scored a close-but-no-cigar second in the race for the adult man and the still underage girl.

And then Naru punched Godel in the face.

* * *

**Gilderoy Lockhart**

As a quote-unquote "responsible adult", she had taken it upon herself to tour this "magic boarding school" that her shy and vulnerable young friend had been mysteriously signed up for.

The majestic architecture was certainly impressive, and the bulk of the faculty certainly seemed eccentric, but evidently competent enough in their fields - Not that I'd really have the context to know otherwise, she admitted to herself. The divisive nature of student body worried her somewhat, but since 3/4 of them seemed to be friendly and welcoming, the young woman chose to relax somewhat.

Just as the redhead was thinking that it might not be so bad after all, to send Shinobu to a place like this for several months at a time, a self-important looking pretty boy came on the scene and started trying to flirt with her. He certainly thought he was impressive and clever, but honestly she was just beginning to get a little pissed.

At that time, the staircase they were standing on abruptly began a 90 degree rotation, causing both individuals to stumble, the annoying fop somehow managing to fall just so that his face wound up in her cleavage.

And then Naru punched Gilderoy Lockhart in the face.

* * *

**Cain Marko,** _writ by Over Master_

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

That was very rude, so then Naru punched the Juggernaut in the face.

And shattered her hand into bone dust and splintered, bleeding flesh. Oops.

* * *

**Read It And Find Out,** _writ by Darkenning_

"... you need to grow a pair already! Any of these girls would be better for you than that castrating bitch! Pick one and get her out of your life, then you can finally become the Shounen Harem protagonist that you were always born to be! But hurry up and dump -"

Keitaro, who'd sadly grown accustomed to getting lectured like this by self-inserting fanfic authors who weren't quite self-assured enough to simply murder him and run around in his skin - which always gave him an itch afterwards, so he welcomed the change - had also grown accustomed to hiding the amusement he always felt when his wife, the only woman he'd ever truly loved, walked up behind the lecturer and tapped him on the shoulder, blessedly shutting him up for a few moments.

It happened just like that this time, too.

Then Naru punched Archivist 10 in the face.

* * *

**Pre-Emptive Strike,** _writ by Darkenning_

"You are beyond doubt the most perverted person I've ever met," she bit out. Then Naru punched Kageyama Yamiko in the face.

"... please sir may I have another?" Yamiko giggled a half hour later when she woke up under a tree.

* * *

**Mirror Match,** _writ by Over Master_

They finally had enough of each other.

Then Naru punched Hasegawa Chisame in the face.

Just as Hasegawa Chisame punched Naru in the face.

Double KO!

* * *

**Konoe Touta,** _writ by Over Master_

Then Naru punched Touta in the face.

Then Chisame punched Touta in the face.

Then Motoko punched Touta in the face.

Then Asuna punched Touta in the face.

Then Sarah punched Touta in the face.

Then Nodoka punched Touta in the face.

Then Kaolla punched Touta in the face.

Then Yuuna punched Touta in the face.

Then Tenri punched Touta in the face.

"Hey, wait a second!" Touta called out. "If YOUR series isn't being published anymore, it's not because of MINE!"

"Don't care! I need venting out!"

Then Tenri punched Touta in the face.

Naru sneered. "Foreigners..."

* * *

**DCNU 52 Joker.,** _writ by Over Master_

Then Naru punched-

Actually, she stopped when her fist was in the middle of its way.

She took a better look at the maggot-filled, half rotten white layer of discarded face skin the clown had attached to his badly cut features, and cringed. "Ew!"

Then Naru kicked the Joker in the balls.

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by NGT-7_

"But that means he is Yuuno, if the plot warped to accommodate a romance comedy!" Vita protested. "They would subordinate all the distinctive personalities and cool powers to a bland, uninspiring doormat!"

And then Naru punched Vita in the face.

That did not go so well.

* * *

**Grim,** _writ by Over Master_

The old woman huffed stubbornly.

"I'm telling you, I'm not going yet!"

"But-"

Then Naru rose from her hospital bed, and punched the Grim Reaper in the face.

For a moment afer he plucked himself out of the wall, he stood there, with a bony hand on the impacted area, before turning around and heading for the room's door. "You'd better get ready for tomorrow..."

"Yes, yes, same thing you've been saying all week long..."

* * *

**Pinkie Pie,** _writ by Over Master_

"The secret ingredient is..." she whispered conspiratively, coming closer as Naru leaned in with curiosity, still munching on her cupcake, "KEITARO!"

Naru took a distressed stare at the cupcake, then punched the pony in the face.

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by Shadow Crystal Mage_

Naru punched Kamijou Touma in the face.

As she was neither magical or an esper, this finally killed him.

* * *

**Haruhi Suzumiya**

Naru was absently walking down the street next to some school building or another, holding hands with her boyfriend Keitaro, when all of a sudden her perv-detecting sixth sense triggered. Since the direction of the disturbance was coming a greater distance than right next to her, she dismissed Keitaro as a possible source.

Locking on to the signal like an anti-perv rocket, the redhead charged through the entrance of the school, effortlessly raced up an unnoticed number of stairs, and came to a halt in front of a particular door, in front of which was some kid that looked really annoyed. As if able to detect the purpose of her mission, Kyon wordlessly got out of the woman's way and unlocked the door.

Naru then burst into the room, and on seeing a brunette girl inappropriately groping and stripping another, bustier girl against her will, came to an immediate decision.

And then Naru punched God in the face, before then dishing out a heated lecture about respecting one's personal privacy.

* * *

**Captain Falcon**

Naru bowed respectfully to the hooded racer as they met atop Hyrule Castle, as Captain Falcon said, "Your training is almost complete, Narusegawa. It's time for your graduation test."

He then roared, "SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!"

With a battle cry, Naru and Captain Falcon charged, and punched each other in the face with all their might.

"FALCOOON PAWNCH!"

"YOU ANIMAL!"

* * *

**Untitled,** _writ by Archivist 10_

It was honestly the worst possible outcome, though Keitaro.

They'd met up with superheroes, psychopaths and perverts of all shapes and sizes. He'd nearly died several times.

But that one world, where that ridiculously muscular guy lived.

Naru just had to pick up his signature move.

All this went across Keitaro's head as his wife turned to glare at him, right after he had walked in on her changing.

They were married now! Why did she still want to hit him?!

This is what he wanted to say, but what he said was, in barely a whimper. "Mercy."

She reared her fist back. "Naru style..."

'I'm going to die.'

"50 fold..." almost snarled Naru. Her anger was mostly instinct by this point.

He hoped Naru would live a long life once he'd died. It'd be nice to have some time on his own.

"Nail Punch!"

* * *

**Gendo Ikari**

At last, the scenario had come almost entirely to fruition. Third Impact was upon them all, and the NERV Commander was just moments away from absolute triumph and eternal reunion with his wife.

As he pushed his ADAM-containing hand into Rei's chest and rummaged around for her S2 Organ in order to achieve proper Instrumentality, there was a flash of light.

Gendo had but a moment to observe the fearsome redhead charging at him as she roared, "YOU FILTHY DEGENERATE ANIMAL!"

And then Naru punched Gendo in the face harder than she had ever punched anyone before.

* * *

**Naru: Repercusions of Punch,** _writ by Over Master_

And then Keitaro punched Naru in the face.

And then Keitaro was a Naru.

* * *

**The Punched Barnacle,** _writ by Over Master_

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that then Naru punched him in the face. And everyone died. The end.

* * *

**Izaya Orihara,** _writ by rikalous_

Izaya was just confirming that he'd shaken Shizuo when his last leap sent him crashing headfirst into a teenager's breasts. He didn't recognize her, but since he knew all the teenagers living in Ikebukuro who could take him in a fight, he didn't expect that to be a problem.

Then Naru punched him in the face. (She was just visiting.)

The gossip mill buzzed for days afterwards. Who would have thought that Shizuo Heiwajima, the strongest man in Ikebukuro (and, some claimed, the world), liked to crossdress?


End file.
